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Laura Jayne Martin
Laura Jayne Martin

509 Followers

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Published in Human Parts

·May 14, 2020

I Miss My Barber

It took me 25 years to get the cut I wanted. Maybe one day I’ll get it again. — The first time I walked into a barbershop was like a first kiss. I was nervous, but thrilled. I felt square trying to be smooth; self-conscious, giddy with anticipation. I was also 25. When I was nine, I drew the haircut I wanted on a Post-it note and brought it…

Beauty

4 min read

I Miss My Barber
I Miss My Barber
Beauty

4 min read


Published in Human Parts

·Nov 7, 2019

Is My Suit Making You Uncomfortable?

Being nonbinary brings out the worst in people — My dad told me why I don’t have any money the other day. Well, he told me one of the reasons I don’t have any savings and a carload of student loan debt. He said, matter-of-factly, “Well, but you’ve always had a hard time finding a job for a number…

Identity

7 min read

Is My Suit Making You Uncomfortable?
Is My Suit Making You Uncomfortable?
Identity

7 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Mar 16, 2018

A Complete Idiot’s Guide To St. Patrick’s Day

Welcome to “A Complete Idiot’s Guide” where you will be guided by me, a complete idiot. This week? St. Patrick’s Day. Please enjoy this advice, which differs from all the other idiotic advice out there in that instead of being for a complete idiot it is written by a complete…

Ireland

3 min read

A Complete Idiot’s Guide To St. Patrick’s Day
A Complete Idiot’s Guide To St. Patrick’s Day
Ireland

3 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Jul 20, 2017

Summer Bucket List

a metal one that’s dented a purple one with a sparkly handle the red one that cracked the thick yellow one I stepped on and hurt my foot at the Jersey Shore one that fits over my head my winter bucket, but just take the fur off a pail ten…

Bucketlist

2 min read

Summer Bucket List
Summer Bucket List
Bucketlist

2 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Feb 24, 2017

21 Alternative Bathrooms for Trans and Gender Non Conforming People

Excretion in the age of President Trump — The woods — Not always around when nature calls, but an elegant solution to the problem your identity creates for bigots. A hat — People these days buy so many hats they NEVER wear. Let’s finally put them to good use. IKEA’s model bathroom — Never put too much of…

Transgender

2 min read

21 Alternative Bathrooms for Trans and Gender Non Conforming People
21 Alternative Bathrooms for Trans and Gender Non Conforming People
Transgender

2 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Jan 27, 2017

21 Things With Which President Donald Trump Can Replace Obamacare

Just because you don’t have a plan doesn’t mean you shouldn’t execute it. — Insurance carriers — Aircraft carriers that fire insurance at the American people. A pile of Bandaids — And when we run out, duct tape will most likely work. Witches and Warlocks — Your copay is probably going to be disgusting. The cast of Grey’s Anatomy — You treat enough fake…

Donald Trump

2 min read

21 Things With Which President Donald Trump Can Replace Obamacare
21 Things With Which President Donald Trump Can Replace Obamacare
Donald Trump

2 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Sep 6, 2016

21 Presidential Alternatives

An Election 2016 look at other person, places, or things that could be President of the United States. — Alternative things are great. Just ask anyone who grew up during the 90s or who doesn’t tolerate lactose. No one is saying mainstream picks aren’t good or are good. They’re just mainstream, like lactose. It’s nice to have alternatives. For instance, you can have eggs for breakfast or oatmeal. But…

Presidential Candidate

4 min read

21 Presidential Alternatives
21 Presidential Alternatives
Presidential Candidate

4 min read


Aug 11, 2016

25 things you ABSOLUTELY MUST experience before you get engaged

1. A Birth. 2. A Death. 3. Be their wedding date. 4. Have them be yours. 5. Adopt a pet. 6. Adopt a child… like sense of wonderment at their cuteness. 7. Stroll through a farmer’s market. 8. Spend the day at the beach. 9. Go on a road trip. …

Engagement

2 min read

25 things you ABSOLUTELY MUST experience before you get engaged
25 things you ABSOLUTELY MUST experience before you get engaged
Engagement

2 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Mar 16, 2016

21 Ways to Tell If You’re a REALLY REAL New Yorker

You live in a garbage can. 2. Your rent is $1900… a minute. 3. You play chess in Washington Square Park, but you recently realized the chessboard is just a guy on his hands and knees begging for the bucket drummers to stop playing. 4. You ride the subway below…

New York City

3 min read

21 Ways to Tell If You’re a REALLY REAL New Yorker
21 Ways to Tell If You’re a REALLY REAL New Yorker
New York City

3 min read


Published in Human Parts

·Jun 24, 2015

Warning: Summer is Coming To New York

Well, really, it’s already too late. I’m trying to warn you that summer is coming. Unfortunately — like the hated and feared Kool-Aid man — summer has burst through the wall, uninvited, bearing a devil’s smile. Summer is here. It can be difficult to convince people that the things they…

Summer

3 min read

Warning: Summer is Coming To New York
Warning: Summer is Coming To New York
Summer

3 min read

Laura Jayne Martin

Laura Jayne Martin

509 Followers

Writer in NYC laurajaynemartin@gmail.com

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